The Young Wives of Cayucos Reign

January 16, 2022

Editor’s Note: The next series, “Life in Radically Gentrifying Cayucos by the Sea,” which will be published every two weeks, includes the notes, thoughts, and opinions of an original American voice: author Dell Franklin.

Franklin’s memoir, “Life On The Mississippi, 1969,” is currently on Amazon.


The young brides of Cayucos are a welcome and important addition to our small town with a declining population and are not afraid to air their feelings and opinions on any subject, but especially those concerning their children and schooling.

The young Cayucos brides always seem to be in a rush as they constantly check their cell phones and seem to be mentally multitasking.

The young Cayucos wives appear to be athletic and very conscious of health and physical well-being and can often be seen jogging in pairs or trios while chatting and checking their phones. And sometimes, while jogging, they push strollers and still check their phones and somehow manage to hold on to the leashes of beautiful Golden Retrievers and sometimes drink from water bottles.

Young Cayucos wives, though often busy with their duties and responsibilities, are nevertheless polite and pleasant when engaged, and patient when trying to prolong a conversation with them unless it brings up topics who test the courage of their deepest beliefs and fix their opinions. and provokes an intense aftershock that could be fiery and surprising.

Young Cayucos wives seem to eclipse their husbands in presence, profile and even charisma, which makes me wonder what their husbands do to earn a living to afford housing in Cayucos.

Young Cayucos brides are on the whole attractive and well groomed and seem to come from the best white stables in the state or maybe the country, which also means they probably went to college and drank some Coors Lite at sorority parties and are therefore extremely knowledgeable when it comes to judging Chardonnay, Merlot, Cabernet and various other wines as well as the newest and hottest craft beers.

Young Cayucos brides drive gleaming new SUVs and luxury sedans and text while driving to and from Albertson’s and Costco and Best Buy and Trader Joe’s and the gyms and various appointments overwhelming today’s young mothers today.

The young Cayucos brides are devoted mothers who watch over their children and make sure the teachers, scout leaders and coaches are as dedicated to their welfare as they are, and if not, there will be hell to pay.

At a school board meeting, a young bride from Cayucos, without a mask, wore a large American flag as a cape, which signified that she was a real patriot and all business when it came to anyone imposing taxes. rules requiring her children to wear masks and get vaccinated. She was energetic and passionate as she took the mic to be heard and received a cheering ovation from a crew of young Cayucos brides who weren’t wearing masks, while a line of women on the other side of the assembly wearing expansive masks hiding most of their faces remained silent. It was impossible to perceive whether they were young or old wives of Cayucos or troublemakers who had come from elsewhere and from here to fight the young wives and try to take away their rights and freedoms as Americans!

During the summer mornings on the beach, many of Cayucos’ young brides delivered their children for lifeguard training and hung out to visit and keep an eye on things. Some of us old geezers hanging around the levee wondered if, like our mothers many years ago, they were den mothers when we were in Cub Scouts, but otherwise went wild in the streets unguarded and made a point of letting them guess where we were and what kind of mischief we were doing until they caught us and tried to take away privileges from us, but failed because seeing us stay at home and doing chores was unbearable.

The young Cayucos wives attending the school board meeting are the most determined, focused, and driven women I have ever seen in action (except Georgia Rep. Marjorie Taylor-Greene) and are firmly in charge. I wonder if those who refuse to wear masks and get vaccinated, and refuse to allow their children to wear masks and get vaccinated, believe that Donald Trump really won the election in 2020 and was cheated out of the presidency by a corrupt system in America that is about to be taken over as an authoritarian state by liberal democratic socialists wanting to tax the hardworking rich and turn the country into a bloated welfare cesspool for the lazy poor who, miserable looking for donations, usually end up with the dirtiest, most debilitating low-paying jobs and fight our endless wars.

I know I’m too intimidated to ask.

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